


Revenge is a Dish Best Served Prickly

by YumeAino



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Comedy, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:15:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27254785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeAino/pseuds/YumeAino
Summary: After Persephone gifts her mother-in-law Fae a prototype of her newest creation and the creation ends up attacking Lahabrea, the Speaker storms into Emet-Selch’s office to tell him to wring in his wife’s and mother’s antics.
Relationships: Azem/Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch, Elidibus (Final Fantasy XIV)/Original Character(s), Elidibus (Final Fantasy XIV)/Original Female Character(s), Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch & Original Character(s), Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch & Warrior of Light, Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch/Original Character(s), Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch/Warrior of Light
Kudos: 3





	Revenge is a Dish Best Served Prickly

**Author's Note:**

> This was a response to two of my friend’s fics on Tumblr. Fae is my friend’s original character and is Hades’ mother. Enjoy!

“EMET-SELCH!!!!”

Hades sighed to himself, dropped his pen, and facepalmed. He knew that if his esteemed and hot tempered colleague was coming to his office screaming at him in that tone, it had something to do with either his mother Fae, his best friend Hythlodaeus, or his bonded Persephone... or a combination of the three.

Suddenly, the door to Hades’ office flew open and Lahabrea was standing there with tiny holes in his robes and tiny cuts on his face and hands.

Hades couldn’t help but laugh at how disheveled Lahabrea looked. Whatever happened, he was sad to have not been a witness to the chaos.

“Well now, you look positively holy today... or should I say, _holey_?” Hades chuckled as he lifted the arm of Lahabrea’s robes and examined the tiny holes closer.

Lahabrea was not amused in the slightest. He took in a deep breath so as to try and calm himself down before answering the Architect.

“Emet-Selch... you NEED to talk to your mother and your goobbue girl about their near constant shenanigans in the workplace! It is getting out of hand!”

Hades frowned at the Speaker and folded his arms. “They have names, you know. Not that you could bother to remember them.”

Hades walked around to stand in front of his desk and leaned back against it. “Tell me, what happened exactly?”

“Your mother planted this abomination of a creation in my office as one of her pranks, and it proceeded to attack by throwing needles at me and Elidibus! If Elidibus hadn’t grabbed his bonded and that THING, they would both be turned to ash right now!”

“Oh, so it’s defense mechanism _does_ work. Persephone will be most pleased to hear it!”

Lahabrea looked up at Hades with a fury on his face. “Defense... mechanism? What kind of DEFENSE MECHANISM?!”

The architect sighed as he didn’t feel he needed to explain the obvious. “It’s called a cactuar, and it’s like a living cactus. Cactuses have needles, right? So when it feels it needs to defend itself from predators, it throws a thousand needles at its intended target. You probably scared it in one of your tirades and it defended itself.”

“So, you knew about this?!? Is that what you are telling me?!”

“If you are asking if I know what my wife’s creations are, then _obviously_. But, whatever happened in your office, that I have no knowledge of.”

Lahabrea crossed his arms in defiance. “Now, why do I not believe you, when the common denominator between all of the well known troublemakers is YOU!”

Hades shook his head in exasperation. “Contrary to popular belief, I am not my mother’s nor my wife’s keeper. They are responsible for their own actions.”

Sighing, he knew that this conversation wasn’t going anywhere if he did not extend an olive branch to his colleague. “What do you wish me to do about it?”

“Elidibus should be talking to Fae about the situation himself, so if you could please talk to your bonded about causing chaos in the workplace, I would be most grateful.”

“Persephone, her name is Persephone... you have worked with her for decades now.”

“WHATEVER!”

And with that, Lahabrea stormed out of Emet-Selch’s office and slammed the door behind himself.

Hades then burst out in a fit of laughter. He grabbed his tomestone and typed a message to his beloved.

_Persephone, my love, I do believe your new creation works even better than expected. Congratulations! Let’s celebrate tonight. 😘_


End file.
